How can I get 7 good hours of sleep and feel like I ran a marathon. Or being the tackling dummy for the whole Ohio State football team. Or Donald Trump's comb. Or Camilla Bowles beauty consultant. (Rather timely if I do say so myself). Or Micheal Jackson's PR person. Either way, I am tired. I am looking so very forward to this weekend.
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She also is looking forward to this weekend to get away with her sweet baby... He talks about how wonderful I am but it takes one to know one... He is so sweet to me... Like last night I was so frustrated that no matter it seems what I fix the kids they find something that they don't like... And I just blew last night... Just shut myself in our room for the evening... Lord knows I really don't want to take my frustrations out on them.... I just don't know how to cook for them to make them happy.. I feel I am turning into my mother who made me sit at the table and eat whether I liked it or not... I don't want to do that but I don't want them dictating what I am fixing or to fix a different meal for everyone. I try to always fix things they like but then how are we supposed to know what might be good this week and yucky next week and I would love to expand the things I fix so they can try new things. But the youngest closes his mind before he opens his mouth. I love them all and I feel I am fighting a losing battle here but I have to find a way to succeed. My sweet baby never complains about a meal and is always full of compliments.... But it is getting to be no fun when they chime in I am not eating this.... I don't like it... when last week they liked it... But he just stands by me like I am perfectly normal in my feelings... He supports me so well... If I am perfectly normal why does it feel so bad and feel like I am failing in this parenting role... He tells me that is how we all feel. You see I have no kids of my own so I have never dealt with any of this... He is just so wonderful and I can't even begin to say how much I love him... I just want to be what his boys need too... And I don't feel I am working that out the greatest.... But I am trying...
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